Our good friend Daisy recently interviewed us about how God brought us together. We pray that you will be blessed and encouraged as we share our story.
How and when did you first meet?
Kimberley (KH) Well… we met in several stages. I first saw Chiawuotu at prayer warriors, a youth prayer retreat in April 2008. I remember him sharing some unique poetry with enthusiasm in the program; but we never met properly. I didn’t know his name or anything about him and I wasn’t really interested in finding out.
Chiawuotu (CA) I remember first seeing Kimberley at the summer NEC Camp Meeting in 2008, on the last day, in the last sermon. I don’t know how it came to happen because I had never met Kimberley before but we were sat next to each other, in the last sermon preached by Pastor Matt Para about ‘relationships’. Completely disinterested in relationships, I was waiting eagerly for an appeal to surrender my life to Christ and be baptised. I also asked if God would help me decide in that sermon to go to the Bible School at the Advanced Centre of Evangelism (ACE) - My prayers were answered by the close of that sermon.
KH. : And little did we know that just a few weeks later we would be attending the same four months bible school. When the Director picked me up from the station on my way to the bible school, I saw Chiawuotu sitting in the car and I said to myself, "oh, I’ve seen that person before."
CA: So eventually we actually spoke and met face to face at the Bible School which we call A.C.E
Kimberley (KH) Well… we met in several stages. I first saw Chiawuotu at prayer warriors, a youth prayer retreat in April 2008. I remember him sharing some unique poetry with enthusiasm in the program; but we never met properly. I didn’t know his name or anything about him and I wasn’t really interested in finding out.
Chiawuotu (CA) I remember first seeing Kimberley at the summer NEC Camp Meeting in 2008, on the last day, in the last sermon. I don’t know how it came to happen because I had never met Kimberley before but we were sat next to each other, in the last sermon preached by Pastor Matt Para about ‘relationships’. Completely disinterested in relationships, I was waiting eagerly for an appeal to surrender my life to Christ and be baptised. I also asked if God would help me decide in that sermon to go to the Bible School at the Advanced Centre of Evangelism (ACE) - My prayers were answered by the close of that sermon.
KH. : And little did we know that just a few weeks later we would be attending the same four months bible school. When the Director picked me up from the station on my way to the bible school, I saw Chiawuotu sitting in the car and I said to myself, "oh, I’ve seen that person before."
CA: So eventually we actually spoke and met face to face at the Bible School which we call A.C.E
ACE Class of 2008
Was there anything awakened in your minds about each other or were you completely neutral?
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CA – When we first met, I had no attraction or feelings for Kimberley at all.
KH – Me neither, I was completely neutral but looking back I did note some good things in his character. CA- I must say during ACE, I also noticed some positive character traits in Kimberley and that she really loved the Lord, but I had no interest in a relationship. |
Lake District ACE 2008
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What were your general thoughts on courtship and marriage during this time?
CA: My thoughts were and still are that courtship is a relationship where two people become acquainted with each other’s character, and seek God’s will to know whether they should marry. It shouldn’t be too long (1 to 2 years) and it’s not the right time for physical intimacy. It is also one of the most serious and solemn decisions to be made in this life and affects the life to come! So it’s better to get it right the first time and seek good counsel.
KH: During the time of the Bible School, I was reminded that courtship and marriage was sacred and holy and higher than the ideals of the world. I generally felt a need to keep pure and reserved for my one future husband. In the meantime, my work was to commit to God this area and guard myself fully.
CA: My thoughts were and still are that courtship is a relationship where two people become acquainted with each other’s character, and seek God’s will to know whether they should marry. It shouldn’t be too long (1 to 2 years) and it’s not the right time for physical intimacy. It is also one of the most serious and solemn decisions to be made in this life and affects the life to come! So it’s better to get it right the first time and seek good counsel.
KH: During the time of the Bible School, I was reminded that courtship and marriage was sacred and holy and higher than the ideals of the world. I generally felt a need to keep pure and reserved for my one future husband. In the meantime, my work was to commit to God this area and guard myself fully.
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A Safe Friendship
How did your friendship progress? Even then, as friends, was your mind opened to the possibility of a deeper friendship?
CA: One year later (2009) our paths crossed and we worked together in the same Bible School. We worked in the kitchen as cooks and with the students as deans and Bible teachers. It was a very practical and hands on way to have a friendship but it was strictly business like. After the four-month school we went different ways.
A Safe Friendship
How did your friendship progress? Even then, as friends, was your mind opened to the possibility of a deeper friendship?
CA: One year later (2009) our paths crossed and we worked together in the same Bible School. We worked in the kitchen as cooks and with the students as deans and Bible teachers. It was a very practical and hands on way to have a friendship but it was strictly business like. After the four-month school we went different ways.
Serving in the kitchen - ACE 2009
KH; In 2009 during this second phase of our friendship, I began to value Chiawuotu's support and leadership very much and I did contemplate the possibility of a deeper friendship but I guarded myself against this because while it wasn't for me to initiate anything in the first place, I also did not think that either of us were spiritually mature enough. I made sure to read a lot about true relationships (I especially read Counsels on Courtship and Marriage) in order to keep my affections guarded and I thought it best not to encourage any communication after the school.
CA: I knew nothing about this whatsoever. I certainly was not considering marriage. I wanted to finish my education, travel as a missionary and work for a few years before I considered a relationship.
So how did your friendship progress after 2009?
KH: We were out of touch for a few months (except once or twice) and then I was invited by Chiawuotu to come for one day, in 2010, to support a Campus Ministry initiative, on a University not too far away.
CA: Oh yes. I remember that. (smiles) I really did appreciate Kimberley’s willingness to help. After that we next met at a UK prophecy school in autumn 2010, where I think the now Advent Vision members sang together for the first time.
KH: Then towards the end of 2011/ beginning 2012, I was invited by Chiawuotu to officially work together in a core team of 3 to 5 young people as a music ministry. I knew there was a strong possibility that our friendship may progress so after praying earnestly and informing my parents I joined the ministry.
CA: I knew nothing about this whatsoever. I certainly was not considering marriage. I wanted to finish my education, travel as a missionary and work for a few years before I considered a relationship.
So how did your friendship progress after 2009?
KH: We were out of touch for a few months (except once or twice) and then I was invited by Chiawuotu to come for one day, in 2010, to support a Campus Ministry initiative, on a University not too far away.
CA: Oh yes. I remember that. (smiles) I really did appreciate Kimberley’s willingness to help. After that we next met at a UK prophecy school in autumn 2010, where I think the now Advent Vision members sang together for the first time.
KH: Then towards the end of 2011/ beginning 2012, I was invited by Chiawuotu to officially work together in a core team of 3 to 5 young people as a music ministry. I knew there was a strong possibility that our friendship may progress so after praying earnestly and informing my parents I joined the ministry.
Advent Vision
CA: Yes I think our friendship progressed as we ministered together in song. I saw more of her lovely character and a glimpse into how Christ was adorning her inner life.
What boundaries did you put in place in order to have a healthy male female friendship while remaining open to the will of God?
CA: Kimberley was so reserved from day one that I trembled for months in 2012/13 thinking about how she would respond if I told her that I was interested in courting her. This reserved behaviour help me to do a lot of serious spiritual reflection and seek spiritual counsel before even approaching her.
KH: I put up a wall. We always spoke and dealt with each other very business-like, communicating only to achieve something tangible and definite (e.g. mission work, music cd, organising etc) instead of aimless social talk. Also I tried not to be around Chiawuotu too much. Before joining together in a music ministry with Chiawuotu, I knew we would spend more time together so I kept my parents and close friends informed and updated so they could help me stay guarded. I was transparent with my parents from 2010/11 about our friendship at every stage. Also, about the time that I realised that my affections were being called out and before I became too involved in the Advent Vision ministry, I providentially met Chiawuotu’s Mum and family and learnt more about his character and their characters. Because of all of these safeguards I felt safe as our friendship developed.
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Drawn By His Loving Kindness
How did you deal with your growing feelings for each other?
CA: Kimberley was so reserved from day one that I trembled for months in 2012/13 thinking about how she would respond if I told her that I was interested in courting her. This reserved behaviour help me to do a lot of serious spiritual reflection and seek spiritual counsel before even approaching her.
KH: I put up a wall. We always spoke and dealt with each other very business-like, communicating only to achieve something tangible and definite (e.g. mission work, music cd, organising etc) instead of aimless social talk. Also I tried not to be around Chiawuotu too much. Before joining together in a music ministry with Chiawuotu, I knew we would spend more time together so I kept my parents and close friends informed and updated so they could help me stay guarded. I was transparent with my parents from 2010/11 about our friendship at every stage. Also, about the time that I realised that my affections were being called out and before I became too involved in the Advent Vision ministry, I providentially met Chiawuotu’s Mum and family and learnt more about his character and their characters. Because of all of these safeguards I felt safe as our friendship developed.
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Drawn By His Loving Kindness
How did you deal with your growing feelings for each other?
Adventist Home, EGW
CA: Well I know expression deepens impression and so until I knew it was safe, I did not express my feelings to Kimberley at all. I dealt with my feelings through prayer and receiving spiritual counsel but without Kimberley’s knowledge. I talked to my Mum a lot, who was a great help to me. And spent a lot of time reading Adventist Home and Letters to Young Lovers and Messages to Young People. This turned my mind to the responsibilities involved in marriage, which also helped me to control my feelings and not run ahead too quickly.
KH; I was as open as possible with God, parents and close family and friends but closed to Chiawuotu as much as possible and sometimes I think I came across rude.
How did you seek out the will of God in order to get answers about your growing feelings and friendship?
CA: I prayed and read, I read and prayed. I also sought a lot of counsel from parents, church members and friends. These were my three main pillars. I also analysed Kimberley’s character very closely and carefully where possible.
KH: Exactly the same. Initially I spent time reading and then counselling with people I respected that knew me well and that would give me a Christian perspective. Prayer was key.
Why did you choose to counsel with others?
CA: I know sometimes counselling with parents; church members and friends can seem like an obstacle in the path of a chosen relationship or even just a grudging formality. But I truly saw the blessing in considering and weighing their counsels. Their counsels were like apples of gold and silver. It was like standing on the shoulders of those who have more foresight and prudence so that I could foresee the difficulties, challenges and even blessings, which may lie further along this relationship path.
KH: With such an important decision, I knew I couldn't trust simply my feelings or my own perspective and I really valued the opinions of those who knew me best and who had helped me in the past. Most especially, I needed my parents to approve and love Chiawuotu to know God was leading. The positive responses from all counsellors really helped me to have confidence and discernment in the way God was leading. Without them I would not have been able to understand Gods leading so clearly. It really helped me to move forward.
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Commit thy Way Unto The Lord
What evidence did you need to specifically see in Kimberley to know whether God was leading her to be your wife? And what solidified your decision?
How did you seek out the will of God in order to get answers about your growing feelings and friendship?
CA: I prayed and read, I read and prayed. I also sought a lot of counsel from parents, church members and friends. These were my three main pillars. I also analysed Kimberley’s character very closely and carefully where possible.
KH: Exactly the same. Initially I spent time reading and then counselling with people I respected that knew me well and that would give me a Christian perspective. Prayer was key.
Why did you choose to counsel with others?
CA: I know sometimes counselling with parents; church members and friends can seem like an obstacle in the path of a chosen relationship or even just a grudging formality. But I truly saw the blessing in considering and weighing their counsels. Their counsels were like apples of gold and silver. It was like standing on the shoulders of those who have more foresight and prudence so that I could foresee the difficulties, challenges and even blessings, which may lie further along this relationship path.
KH: With such an important decision, I knew I couldn't trust simply my feelings or my own perspective and I really valued the opinions of those who knew me best and who had helped me in the past. Most especially, I needed my parents to approve and love Chiawuotu to know God was leading. The positive responses from all counsellors really helped me to have confidence and discernment in the way God was leading. Without them I would not have been able to understand Gods leading so clearly. It really helped me to move forward.
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Commit thy Way Unto The Lord
What evidence did you need to specifically see in Kimberley to know whether God was leading her to be your wife? And what solidified your decision?
ACE 2009
CA: I needed to see the evidence of her love for God in her speech, actions and manners. I needed to see the walking fulfilment of a virtuous woman outlined in Proverbs 31 and the spirit of prophecy, to know God was leading.
What evidence did you need to specifically see in Chiawuotu to know whether God was leading him to be your Husband? And what were some of the things that solidified your decision?
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KH: I needed to see that Chiawuotu could go through difficulty and hardship for the truth's sake. I needed to see that Chiawuotu would care for my spiritual life and show concern for my spiritual goals. I needed evidence that Chiawuotu would be able to be patient with my mistakes and speak kindly even at these times. And though I saw all these evidences, it was still not easy to decide in the positive, but I knew God was leading. God would constantly affirm my decisions through scripture after scripture.
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Work in the Garden - Nigeria 2014
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Then finally I held out a 'Gideon’s fleece' by asking God to lay the idea of a dowry on Chiawuotu's heart and around the time of our engagement God graciously answered my prayer.
Chiawuotu, tell us how you asked Kimberley to enter into a courtship with you?
First I told Kimberley that I wanted to speak to her parents, then after parental permission face to face, I asked Kimberley on the telephone if she would court me. Kim asked me quite a few questions on my idea of courtship and after I passed her quiz, she said yes.
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Courtship and Engagement Story
Chiawuotu, tell us how you asked Kimberley to enter into a courtship with you?
First I told Kimberley that I wanted to speak to her parents, then after parental permission face to face, I asked Kimberley on the telephone if she would court me. Kim asked me quite a few questions on my idea of courtship and after I passed her quiz, she said yes.
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Courtship and Engagement Story
Advent Vision's first album
KH: Our courtship involved a lot of ministry work together. During this time, we completed our first Advent Vision cd ‘Dear Pilgrim’ and travelled to many churches and meetings across the UK and the globe sharing the third angel in song. Some of our favourite memories are when we were in Sheffield, Slovakia, Germany, Oregon and Nigeria
CA: It’s a great blessing to see how God can use us together to bring joy to others, which perhaps we couldn’t do in the same way if we were alone. One highlight for me was speaking to Kimberley’s Dad for permission to court. I was so nervous that the words did not come out of my mouth properly, yet Kimberley’s Dad was kind and used humour to help me cough out my question.
KH: I also appreciated Chiawuotu’s encouragement in my personal challenges and getting to know each others family.
Both: Oh and we both are learning, just how important it is to work together, blend, submit, forbear and be patient.
CA: It’s a great blessing to see how God can use us together to bring joy to others, which perhaps we couldn’t do in the same way if we were alone. One highlight for me was speaking to Kimberley’s Dad for permission to court. I was so nervous that the words did not come out of my mouth properly, yet Kimberley’s Dad was kind and used humour to help me cough out my question.
KH: I also appreciated Chiawuotu’s encouragement in my personal challenges and getting to know each others family.
Both: Oh and we both are learning, just how important it is to work together, blend, submit, forbear and be patient.
Dining together with new friends in Germany, 2014 : Working together on the farm in Nigeria 2014
The Marriage Proposal
KH: God asked me first if I would marry Chiawuotu, a few weeks before Chiawuotu did. I told my parents my thoughts and I made a decision during this time, which enabled me to give a prompt answer when Chiawuotu asked a few weeks later. ( 3rd January 2014).
KH: God asked me first if I would marry Chiawuotu, a few weeks before Chiawuotu did. I told my parents my thoughts and I made a decision during this time, which enabled me to give a prompt answer when Chiawuotu asked a few weeks later. ( 3rd January 2014).
Sechselberg - Germany 2014
CA: Well I proposed at the beginning of this year in Germany. We were at a bible meeting and one morning Kimberley asked if she could join me on my morning devotion walk. I had spoken with her Dad the day before on the telephone and he had given me permission to ask Kimberley to marry me. But Kimberley did not know.
After personal devotion and then a communal nature devotion together, we knelt down to pray on the top of a hill, amidst the beautiful sloping hills and singing birds. I prayed first and thanked God for her and being able to speak with her Dad, and then asked if she would marry me (with our eyes closed still praying).
KH: Then when I heard I was so surprised. I opened my eyes and said ‘Of course I will..ehemm’ No I will respond by prayer. Then I closed my eyes and said yes in prayer.
CA: Then we joyfully stood to our feet and asked again and responded again and then went to the next bible meeting for the day.
After personal devotion and then a communal nature devotion together, we knelt down to pray on the top of a hill, amidst the beautiful sloping hills and singing birds. I prayed first and thanked God for her and being able to speak with her Dad, and then asked if she would marry me (with our eyes closed still praying).
KH: Then when I heard I was so surprised. I opened my eyes and said ‘Of course I will..ehemm’ No I will respond by prayer. Then I closed my eyes and said yes in prayer.
CA: Then we joyfully stood to our feet and asked again and responded again and then went to the next bible meeting for the day.
Nigeria 2014
Now you’re getting married this summer, what would you say your vision, mission or purpose in marriage will be? What influence do you hope your marriage union will have on others as well as yourselves?
KH: My vision is that we would be sealed for Gods kingdom, and my influence will help Chiawuotu heavenward and that our relationship would have a saving influence on all our family and friends to be also saved in the Kingdom.My mission & purpose is to support Chiawuotu with his life work, and to make a happy functioning home, which will be blessing to our community and even to the ends of the world.
CA: My vision is to win as many souls for Christ through my family ministry in song, sermon, saving health and most importantly our ‘living testimony’. It’ s our mission to use our time, talents and means to further Gods cause and allow God to reproduce His character in us so we can hopefully ‘go to our heaven bound home.’
KH: My vision is that we would be sealed for Gods kingdom, and my influence will help Chiawuotu heavenward and that our relationship would have a saving influence on all our family and friends to be also saved in the Kingdom.My mission & purpose is to support Chiawuotu with his life work, and to make a happy functioning home, which will be blessing to our community and even to the ends of the world.
CA: My vision is to win as many souls for Christ through my family ministry in song, sermon, saving health and most importantly our ‘living testimony’. It’ s our mission to use our time, talents and means to further Gods cause and allow God to reproduce His character in us so we can hopefully ‘go to our heaven bound home.’
Smile! Nigeria 2014
Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
Psalms 37:4-5
